Online Dating 99 – Refersher Course

So recently I had the opportunity ,due to the previous two posts about online dating, to review a profile and of course it broke many of my rules we have already talked about. So I will  go over the highlights again for all the slow people on the back of the bus. Let me first tell you that online dating is filled with pitfalls. There are all kinds of people out there who are single for a damn good reason y’all. Some of them are decent hard working people who are just not good at dating or have a tight group of people with no one to date and others are f’ing bat shit crazy and are truly single for every reason you can think of. They come in male and female so don’t think I am picking on the ladies. Guys are a hot messes as well. I think that might be a good next post is to break down the types of single people ….anyway. Here is refresher course in case the short bus dropped you off and you are now lost again in online datingville….!

  1. Post recent relevant pictures. You being awesome is fine but keep them in check. No one wants to see 30 photos of you doing the fucking Iron Man. That scares the crap out of most guys not to mention babies and puppies. 4 – 5 photos of you by yourself being you. Selfies are a NO NO! NO! No f’ing selfies you looser!
  2. Putting that you have a kid and you love them and they are the center of your universe…no shit? So you mean to tell me that you have a kid or kids and they are important to you? Hey dummy! Stop putting your kids on your dating profile. No one is dating your kids. That comes miles down the freaking road plus you are opening yourself up to every moron with a computer and they now know you have a kid or kids. Stop being stupid and using your kids as bait. Yes they are now bait or maybe scaring off the decent guys who just want to get to know you. How hard is that to understand? YOUR KIDS DO NOT BELONG IN YOUR PROFILE!
  3. If you hate camping and you complain every time you go camping you can not claim you are a outdoors/camping person. Really! How this is not obvious is unclear to me but it happens way too much. You are now a huge liar and here is a hint. Most guys are not that much into camping. Camping is OK and when it done right it’s fun but lets be honest….going to live in the woods for a weekend is a dirty weekend. It requires a great level of skill and acceptance. Ease into camping later. Guys do it too. Stop lying about who you are so you can attract another person. Be honest. If you don’t like camping and hate it please don’t mention it ever!
  4. Unless you  go out on a boat or own a boat on the lake or ocean you are not a boater or a boat lover. You are the guest that gets to go out on a boat when they run out of family to take with them. Please stop playing games with the water craft people. They are serious and don’t need tag-a-longs or people who think they love being on the water.
  5. Religion is a big no no. Just because you are from the south and think everyone is religious you don’t need to include it and maybe it’s best you don’t. Most guys are not looking for someone to go to church with and if they are they were they would find them in church. Just keep in mind what you are doing here. You want a bible buddy online dating is not the place for that.

So I am going to keep it short and easy. Stop breaking the rules! This is all about marketing and has nothing to do with you. Chances are all you are going to get from online dating in the end is a bank account with less money in it. Work on you. Join a gym, find a hobby and then find people who are in that hobby and date them like they used to before those jackasses with online dating sites started using slick marketing to make you think you are going to live happily ever after by using your computer and getting a coffee is going to lead to long lasting romance. All you will be is $100 in the hole and wondering WTF happened? You’re Welcome!

Comments

2 thoughts on “Online Dating 99 – Refersher Course

  • June 24, 2014 at 1:32 pm
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    “There are all kinds of people out there who are single for a damn good reason y’all. ”

    hahahahahaha lol ..

    Reply

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